Lilacs

Posted on May 28, 2009 
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lilacsAs spring winds its way into summer the lilacs in my little corner of the world go into full bloom. Lilacs are an indigenous plant in this region and a favorite among local gardeners. Like many around me, I have lilac bushes around my home, although I will admit that I probably have many more than the average home gardener. Lilacs were a favorite of my late wife because they reminded her of her mother.

On warm spring evenings the cooling breeze carries the sweet fragrance of lilacs through my open windows, filling my home with a delicate aroma. It is at this time that I find myself entranced, distracted from all else as I breathe the intoxicating scent. It is a most calming and relaxing time as the olfactory response opens the gates and floods my mind with memories of times past.

And as I sit I wonder…

Throughout my home are reminders of a past life, a life that seems an eternity past yet still vivid and fresh in my memories. Photos and mementos of a quarter century love affair fill every room and serve to remind me. Yet I’ve known for some time that there will come a day, perhaps soon, when these things must fade away, handed down to my children or packed away forever. It is understandable that a new woman in my life will find these things to be uncomfortable icons of my past. I’m ok with that, they’re only things. Yet…

More than half my life to date was spent with my late wife. I am who I am today in part because of her. While I am moving on with my life I would like a silent tribute to this important person in my life. Nothing that screams its meaning to the world but rather something that whispers only to me.

For the past couple of years I’ve been toying with the idea of a tattoo. I haven’t done it yet for two reasons. First, I’m terrified of needles and the idea of tens of thousands of needle pokes to create a tattoo actually makes me sick to my stomach. But I’ve decided a little valium will help me deal with that. The other reason is that I’ve not quite decided what I want, at least not until now. The last few nights, as I’ve sat and drank in the benefits of the blooming lilacs, I’ve come to realize. There is an unassuming symbol which so well represents my late wife and would make an excellent first tattoo. Nobody else would know its significance. I have the valium, I have the design, now I just need to muster up the nerve to get through the door.

Neglected

Posted on May 20, 2009 
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I can’t deny it, I’ve been rather neglectful of my blog the last few months. It really isn’t intentional. I think about posting all the time, but I just never actually seem to sit down and write a post. There has been a confluence of contributing causes, but I’m not making any excuses. Regardless of what else I happen to have going on, short of a total physical incapacitation, I should be able to find the time to sit down and write on a fairly consistent basis.

A few of the things I’m allowing to keep me from writing are…

Work. In this wonderful economy work has kept my mind more than just a little occupied, even in my off hours. Business is down, employees are laid off, and it’s my job to figure out where the business opportunities lie. No stress, just the families of a factory full of good employees depending on my ability to point our sales people in the right direction.

Kids. Well, mostly my daughter. Over the next few days she’ll be finishing up her high school career and getting ready to head off to earn her university degree. It seems that she always has a task she needs me to complete as she gets ready for this transition.

Home. Where to even begin. I have managed to make myself a to-do list that would take any 10 men 20 years to complete. Taking on too many projects has always been one of my worse qualities and I’ve really outdone myself lately. I’ve finally started paring back the list, keeping just a small handful of the most needed and desired projects. Everything else is tucked neatly away in a drawer waiting for one of the active projects to be completed so that the next one can move up the list.

Living Life. Not that it’s any surprise to anyone who has know me over the past few years, but living, as opposed to just existing, has been a bit of a challenge for me ever since my late wife passed away. It took me a couple of years, but I finally figured it out and found that I’m a lot happier when I make time every day just to enjoy being part of this world.

All of these things are important consumers of my time, but it only takes a few minutes to sit down and compose a post. I have no excuse for not finding 20 or 30 minutes a couple of times a week to write a quick update. Let’s see if I can make this change.

The Cruelty of Calendars

Posted on April 23, 2009 
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Today marks what would have been my 21st wedding anniversary and for the first time since losing my wife the day is a fond remembrance rather than a painful reminder. I’ve learned that dates are just dates.

For my daughter it’s a different story. Saturday is her 18th birthday. It’s also the third anniversary of her mother’s death. For her it’s an emotional roller coaster between the excitement of reaching a milestone and the reminder of the night she lost her mother. I wish I could take her pain away, but all I can offer is my love and support. It’s really too bad we put so much importance on calendars.

Miscellanea

Posted on March 26, 2009 
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My life is rather boring as of late. I get up in the morning and go to work, I work late almost every night, and I come home, cook dinner, do some work around the house and go to bed. Not much excitement in my life, but it’s actually working for me. What little excitement I get comes from small things.

For the last few months I have been enduring the university selection drama as my daughter has tried to map out her advanced education. The drama is finally over as she has now received notification from every university she applied to. Much to her surprise, but not as much to mine, she was accepted into every university she applied to. She applied to multiple universities because she was certain that she would not be accepted into her first choice, a small but prestigious (and very expensive!) liberal arts school that rejects the majority of the applications they receive each year. Her high school transcripts understandably reflect the effects of a couple of hard knocks over the past few years. She was convinced that these bumps would limit her choices (despite my attempts to assure her otherwise) and keep her out of her school of choice. So now we have it, a fistful of acceptance letters, an empty box where she expected to place the rejections, and even some generous scholarship assistance offered by all but one university. She has made her school selection and I am surprised that it was not the small but prestigious liberal arts school she had listed as her first choice. I’m not complaining. She’ll receive a quality university education and won’t be saddled with near the debt in student loans by the time she’s finished, plus she’ll be closer to home.

On another note, the spring weather has pretty well melted away the last of our snow and I finally able to get to the rubble that used to be my pole barn. I was able to get my motor home out last night and assess the damage. It’s not a total loss. I will have to completely rebuild the cabin as it was totally destroyed, but the chassis is mostly unscathed (except for a dented hood and broken windshield). Rebuilding the cabin will be my project over the next few weeks with hopes of having it ready by camping season.  I’ll be posting picture of my progress.  I plan to spend most of my summer weekends fishing at the mountain lakes, with the kids whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Spring is Springing

Posted on March 20, 2009 
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Today was the first day of spring and I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed it. We still have a lot of snow left on the ground, but it today was pleasantly warm and sunny. A few more days like this and the snow will be just be a memory, giving way to green grass and spring flowers.

It’s been a long winter. We really didn’t get much more snow than normal, but it has stayed around longer thanks to colder than normal temperatures. I don’t mind winter, but it’s far from my favorite season. I’m always ready to see the snow go and rarely ready to see it come again when summer is over. I like to be outside fishing, camping, gardening and the like. Those aren’t very enjoyable activities when there’s three feet of snow on the ground. Knowing more enjoyable outside time is near makes me very happy.

Checking In

Posted on March 11, 2009 
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How time flies. It’s been like two and a half months since the last time I posted. I figured I better check in just in case there’s still anybody out there looking for something new on this site.

Extended absences from posting are really nothing all that new for me, but this one has been a little bit different and a whole lot better than previous. Sure, there have been some ups and downs, but nothing that anyone wouldn’t consider normal. Most of all, I’ve just really been busy. This wonderful economy has me putting in lots of extra hours at work trying to dream up new ways to drum up business so that I don’t have to parade another group of employees through my office to give them the news that they are being laid off. So far I’m keeping ahead of the curve. And I’ve been really busy with the robotics team at the high school (if you’re not familiar with the FIRST Robotics Competition check it out at www.usfirst.org ). Crunch time runs from the first Saturday of the year until the regional competition, which was last weekend. We took a group of 25 high school students to the the regionals in Portland, Oregon. The kids did wonderful. Their robot performed flawlessly and the kids did a stellar job of communicating with the judges and other teams. But, in the end, we didn’t win a seat in the national competition. While I would have gladly continued on full bore for another 5 weeks to see this great group of kids through the national competition in Atlanta, Georgia, I’m secretly a little happy they’re not going. Our team is entirely self funded and it costs us nearly $30,000US to fund ourselves through the regional competition. National competitions would run us another $25,000US in hotels and air fare, money we simply don’t have and would find very difficult to raise in these hard times. I do feel for our 4 seniors, who have each been on the team since it started three years ago. This was their last chance for a national title. For the remaining 21 on the team, they’ll get another chance next year.

So here I am, back to a less hectic schedule. After a couple days of rest, and maybe some time to catch up on the housework I’ve been neglecting, I’ll try to get back in the habit of posting regularly and spend some time catching up on blogs I haven’t read in what seems likes months (oh, wait, it has been months….)

See you soon!

Goodbye 2008

Posted on December 31, 2008 
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Or more like good riddance.

New Year’s is the end of the holiday, and I can’t be happier to see them over.  I did my best to stay busy so that I wouldn’t obsess over how much I hate the holidays.  All in all, I did pretty well.

I took the kids over to Seattle for Christmas and got caught in storms both directions.  They had a lot of snow.  Certainly not more than I’m used to seeing most years where I live, but it was a lot for them.  My parents had about 2-1/2 feet (they live in an area where they got more than most), so most of my vacation was spent shoveling driveways, sidewalks and their roof.  I could have done that at home.

When I got back home last night I was greeted by 2008’s final blow.  The year started off with a serious car accident.  Halfway through my kitchen caught fire thanks to a faulty switch in the range.  And to end the year off…my pole barn collapsed under the weight of about 4 feet of snow and rain that came while I was shoveling snow in Seattle.  In the pole barn was my motor home and tractor.  The motor home is likely totaled.  I spent most of the day today trying to dig out my tractor.  It appears I’ll be able to salvage it, cost to repair is still to be determined.

I’m not the only one to have had a rough time of 2008.  Many of my friends would agree this has been a rough year.  I’m glad to see it come to an end and hope that 2009 will bring better days.

Recipe Madness

Posted on December 5, 2008 
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I haven’t felt much like writing the last several days.  But a few days ago Air requested my Thanksgiving dinner recipes and, since she has now changed her status to stay-at-home-mommy, I figure she could use some kitchen projects.

If you read my pre-Thanksgiving posts, you know that I decided to take our traditional Turkey day meal and toss out the standard recipes that my family has been eating for generations.  So it was all the normal menu items prepared in a different way.  These recipes are all my own creation.  I hope you like them as much as my dinner guests did. (for those of you outside the US, sorry, but you’ll have to do your metric conversions.  I was too lazy for it on this post.)

Pissed Off Turkey
I named my turkey recipe Pissed Off Turkey because it came out with a bit of an angry kick from kung pao peppers in the marinade, but not enough to be too hot for the more sensitive diners. The most difficult ingredient to locate in this recipe will likely be the huckleberry reisling.  The wine I use is made by a friend and not available commercially, Latah Creek wineries from Spokane, Washington, makes a huckleberry blend wine that I’ve found in stores across the country.  While it’s not the same to drink, it should suffice as a substitute in the recipe. This recipe requires marinating your bird overnight.

Ingredients:
1 turkey, rinsed, drained and patted dry.
2 cups huckleberry reisling
1-1/2 cups turkey stock (chicken broth will do as a substitue)
1/2 cup onion, finely diced
4 kung pao peppers*, sliced lengthwise, keeping seeds
2-3 sprigs fresh rosemary
10 juniper berries*
1 tbsp natural sea salt

*fresh kung pao peppers and juniper berries are always best. If you can’t get fresh, dried will do, but they require some extra preparation. Crush berries and peppers and add to turkey stock, bring to a boil, and then cool in the refrigerator for 2 hours before using.

In a deep roasting pan mix reisling, turkey stock, onion, and salt. Split fresh peppers lengthwise (or prepare dried as above) and add to mix. Crush fresh juniper berries between two spoons and add to mix (or prepare dried as above). Mix all together well. Add turkey to the pan, breast down, and baste well with marinade. Cover with plastic wrap and place in fridge overnight, basting as often as you feel like.

Before cooking, stuff bird with pacan stuffing.  Using a meat syringe, inject the breast and thighs of the bird with marinade.  Place bird breast up in roasting pan and remaining marinade, cover with foil and place in a 325° F  oven.  Cook stuffed bird until it reaches an internal temperature of 180° F - for a 15 lb  turkey, that’s about 4 hours.  Remove foil when bird reaches 165° F, baste well and cook the remaining time unconvered.  After removing the bird from the oven, let it rest 20 minutes before carving.

Pecan Stuffing
This stuffing is based on sour rye bread, so it has a bolder flavor than traditional cornbread or white bread stuffings.  You can use sour rye melba toast instead of toasting your own bread if you like.

Ingredients:
1 2lb loaf of sour marble rye or 20 oz sour rye melba toast.
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup dried cranberries
1 cup diced shallots
1 cup diced celery, including leaves
4-6 cloves garlic, crushed
1 cup grated asiago cheese
1 cup melted butter
1 cup huckleberry reisling
3 cups turkey stock or chicken broth
1 tbsp sea salt
1/2 tsp poultry seasoning

If you use the loaf bread, cut into small cubes and bake for 1 hour at 185° the night before.  If you use the melba toast break into crouton size pieces before using.  Place rye bread in a large mixing bowl and stir in 1 cup of melted butter.  Add all remeaining ingrediants EXCEPT wine and broth, mix well.  Mix wine and broth together and slowly stir into bread mixture.  Stuff into turkey cavities.

Any stuffing that does not fit into the turkey can be baked in a separate covered dish.  Baking time depends on volume - cook to an internal temperature of 175° F.

Yam Fries
These were my favorite part of dinner.  As a last minute afterthought I made a dipping sauce from some Knorr packaged sauce mixes I had in the pantry - 1 pack of herb butter sauce and 1 pack of holandaise.  A definite must!

Ingredients:
10 cups (about 6 large yams) peeled and cut into 1/4 inch strips
3 cups vodka
1-1/2 cups vermouth
3 tbsp onion juice
1 tbsp sea salt

Mix together vodka, vermouth, onion juice and salt in a large bowl.  Add cut yams arranging so yams are completly covered in liquid.  Cover and soak overnight.  Drain well and pat dry (to keep oil from spattering).  Fry for 4-6 minutes in oil heated to 350° F.  I use a large cast iron skillet filled with about 1/2 inch of olive and cotton seed oils (mixed 1:1) and only fry enough potatoes at one time to cover the bottom of the pan in a single layer.  They’re done when they start to take on a slight golden hue.  Drain on paper towels to absorb excess oil, season to taste with salt, pepper and garlic powder.

Batter Fried Green Beans

Ingredients:
3 lb fresh green beans, cleaned and stringed
2 julienned granny smith apple
1 julienned sweet red onion (large size)
1/4 cup toasted sesame seeds
4 cups of prepared tempura batter

Add sesame seeds to tempura batter and mix well.  Add remaining ingrediants.  Toss in batter until well coated.  Remove from batter with a slotted fry spoon and allow excess batter to drain away.  Fry for 4-6 minutes in oil heated to 350° F.  I use a large cast iron skillet filled with about 1/2 inch of olive and cotton seed oils (mixed 1:1) and add a couple of tablespoons of sesame oil for flavor.  Only fry enough beans at one time to cover the bottom of the pan in a single layer.  They’re done when they tempura is a soft golden color.  Drain on paper towels to absorb excess oil, season to taste with sea salt.

Cilantro Salad

Ingredients:
3 bunches of fresh cilanto leaves, washed in very cold water and removed from main stems
2 large navel oranges, peeled and separated into wedges
1-1/2 cups dried huckleberries (if you can’t fiend dried huckleberries, substitue with 1 cup dried blueberries and 1/2 cup dried cranberries)
1 large sweet red onion, diced medium
1 cup toasted pecan peices
juice of 3 large limes
3/4 cup honey or light corn syrup (honey shouldn’t be used if any of your dinner guests are young children)
1 tsp fresh ground black pepper
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp sea salt
pinc of cayenne pepper

Mix together lime juice, honey, pepper, cumin, salt and cayenne pepper.  Set aside.  In a large bowl, add remaining ingreadients, toss well.   Just prior to serving, toss with lime dressing to coat evenly.

Herb and Cheese Rolls

Any time you add extra ingredients to yeast breasds, you risk making a bread that’s too heavy.  Be careful not to over handle your dough, or it may not rise properly.  I use a bread machine to mix my dough, makes it little easier on the back.

Ingredients:
4 cups bread flour
2-1/2 tsp active dry yeast
2 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp dry milk
2 tbsp butter
1-3/4 tsp table salt
10-12 oz luke warm water
1/2 cup fresh sweet basil, corsely chopped
1 cup grated asiago cheese
1 bunch roased garlic, pressed from skins
3-4 serrano peppers, slivered
1/3 cup grape seed oil
2 tbsp coarse flake sea salt

Measure together flour, sugar, yeast, dry milk, butter, table salt and water (if it’s humid, use 10 oz, if dry use 12).  If you’re using a bread machine, select the dough setting and go find something else to do for a half hour.  If you’re mixing and kneading by hand, mix until ingrediants are well blended.  Turn out onto a lightly floured board and knead for 10 minutes.  Pull dough into a single ball, cover with a flour sack towel or piece of plastic wrap and let rise for 30 minutes.

If you’re using a bread machine, halfway through the second kneading (about 7 minutes) add basil, cheese and garlic (some machines have a reminder at this point so that you know when to add extra ingredients to your bread).  If you’re kneading by hand, punch down and knead your dough for 10 minutes.  Pull the dough flat, sprinkle with basil, cheese and garlic and fold in.  Continue kneading another 5 minutes.  Pull dough into a single ball, cover, and let rise for 20 minutes.

If hand kneading, punch down your dough.  If using a bread machine, turn your dough out onto a board.  Divide dough into 24 equal size portions and roll into balls.  Place on lightly greesed baking pans.  Cover with waxed paper and let rise for 1 hour (until doubled in size).  If you want pull apart rolls, space dough balls close enough that they will rise slightly into each other.

When the rolls have finished rising, brush ligtly with grape seed oil and sprinkle lightly with coarse flake sea salt.  Insert slivers of serrano pepper into each roll, being careful not to punch the dough down.  Bake in a 375° F preheated oven for 12-15 minutes.  Serve hot.

*note: when you separate the dough into balls, you can immediately freeze the dough balls rather than allowing it them their final rise.  Allow frozen dough balls 2-1/2 hours to thaw and rise (making sure they double in size) before baking.  Once frozen, the dough will develop a richer crust.

Enjoy these recipes.  And if you use them, please let me know if you enjoy them.

And November Fades Away

Posted on November 30, 2008 
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We’re in the last few hours of November and, with this post, I have successfully completed the NaBloPoMo challenge - i have managed to post every single day during the month of November.

As I saw the approach of a successful finish to this challenge, I began designing a final post for the month and had even planned on taking on the monthly challenge again in December.  But then a few words came into view.  Forced.  Vague.  Pretentious.  Elusive.  Yes, these each describe my posts over the last month.

My whole reason for taking on the challenge was to jump start my stalled writing.  I succeeded in the challenge, but failed in my goal.  I feel no closer to rekindling that passion I once felt.  I’ll skip the challenge in December.  Maybe I’ll be up for again some time.

Holiday Fun

Posted on November 29, 2008 
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I never attempt Black Friday shopping.  Angry mobs of desparate shoppers trampling people just to save $3 or get a free teddy bear just aren’t my thing.

I’m really growing to hate the whole holiday and family thing.  When it comes to the holidays, I can’t win.  No matter what I do, I’m pissing somebody off.  I pissed of my parents because I didn’t go to Seattle for Thanksgiving.  Now I’ve pissed off my former in-laws because I’m planning on going to Seattle over Christmas.  It gets better, my parents are pissed off yet again because I’m only planning on staying until the 28th.

I can’t win.  I really just want to say fuck it all and fly off to some tropical island and forget the holidays and my family all together.

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